It is day two of our first workaway experience and everything that I thought before is no longer valid, of course.
The theme so far for me is literally, shedding. I saw a snake in my yurt, whereas no one on the land has actually seen a snake, and especially not in their living spaces in all the 10 years they have been on the land. I was told not to fear, they will not harm me. This snake was just for me.
My belly is literally shedding. 1) from sunburn and 2) from eating so properly 3) from eating so properly that I’m bloating (quinoa and chia seeds are exploding through me). Although, the children think my belly is fat and wonder if I have another child in there. On another day, this would have really hurt me, but instead, I accepted the reality that they have not seen a woman as large as me.
Ayuascha is a key subject here, and in fact the very first topic of conversation when we were picked up by the very friendly and bright eyed Lorenzo. I was thrown off a bit to know that we were coming into a place where they were using “plant medicine” as a spiritual tool and using “shamanic” ways.
I am a big doubter of people who call themselves shamans, especially people of European/Western descent and culture. I was comforted by Veronika, when she indeed told me they do not consider themselves shamans, but have instead adopted shamanic practices for healing.
Currently, I’m sitting at the upper most point of the land, as far as I can tell, in a little stowaway trailer which is known as the charging center, I suppose. There is electricity here!
I was told they lived on this land without electricity until last year.
Introducing the paradox of my life right now.
We came to a natural retreat center called Amoraleza, where people are living off the grid, eating a raw vegetarian lifestyle, living in yurts and tents, and we were “hired” to take their social media campaign to the next level.
Lorenzo and the children speak three languages, Veronika, two, that I’m sure of. French, English and Spanish between them all. They have four lovely and adorable children who should be on a poster for Unschooling.
Rio is the oldest–he is exceptionally intelligent and I trust that he will have much to share with the world about moss, and shows a keen interest in video production.
And what about my kid? The one who has been affirmed over and over again during this experience by mature adults, that he is indeed NOT A KID, and is rather enjoying being seen as the adult he wants to be so badly.
I will say that since we have hit Andalusia and Granada, that he actually feels very young to me still. He is in a big place of not knowing things, and that brings out his youth. It is refreshing and also a bit worrisome. He has a lot of things to learn, and here, now that we are shedding, he is not in the mood for “mom.”
Luckily, it is fairly easy to let him be. He is staying in a bell tent with a 26-year-old, vegan named Tyler from Australia, and besides the occasional tag along from one of the kids, he seems consumed with personal discovery, transformation, and is looking more embodied as he discovers greater health and divine knowledge.
He’s had a stomachache for at least two days, which feels like it is mostly mental and psychological–he had to throw up the moment he knew we were leaving our peace pad in Granada.
Not going to lie though, this part of the transition is a definitive metamorphosis. I am almost certain that we don’t look pretty. The flies are attracted to the sugary smells we brought from the ‘mainland.” We are in and out of processing and consciousness with so much nature filling us from the most immediate places and further away. We are just above the “hippie” community, Beneficio.
To live here we’ve had to give up practically everything that we use to feel okay everyday. This place is dedicated to helping people deal with their addictions, no bread, no alcohol, no marijuana, no nada is allowed here. Only plant medicine done with proper ceremony.
I also worked myself into a good panic attack on the way here too. Thank God, I came up with that song “Radiant Abundant Joy,” two summers ago when I was traveling alone. It recenters me everytime I sing it!
I’ve never been so afraid in my life. I’ve been terrified of something almost everywhere that we have gone. In Barcelona, it was driving. In Tossa del Mar, it was Lucy the dog. In Alicante, it was not being able to speak Spanish. In Granada, it was cynophobia–all the dogs running wild. And now, in Amoraleza, the snake wanted to see how I would react.
I am happy to say that Lorenzo gave me a gift in our sharing circle last night. One of those moments where a person is talking to a group, but it feels like it is just for you.
He talked about surrendering, as he stared in my eyes. Yes, surrendering is the other theme and mantra I have been playing all this while too. But he began to get more passionate and excited about this surrendering. This surrendering is about heart opening so expansively that you can experience wonderful surrendered joy.
Surrender to the heart opening.
This is the work, this is the lesson for now. Surrendering to the heart opening into the most expansive potential and allowing our highest selves to come out and shine and share.